So why you gotta ask me
What I’m doing now
Cause I don’t like to question
What I still haven’t found
Hmm not many answers for my last message, well nevermind...Many things had happened over the past week after the death. In short, confinments, cancellation of offs and LWEs, lessons and many more crap. The whole place is falling out of shape. But one thing was the highlight of these past weeks...I managed to get into the Air Force Grp 2 team. I'm glad about it but after seeing the standard I'm having second thoughts.
How I wish everything would turn out right, my life, my camp, my friends, that someone and my relationship with God. I wish I could go back in time and relive those few months before I entered army. Sundays helping out at CityKids church, I feel that I have a calling to teach, but I'm not a good role model for them though. How I miss meeting up with Sandra, Joel and my cousin Mich before every CityKids service. Ah...the good times. Wonder how's everybody doing now, I've lost contact with everybody except my cousin. Going to church feels so different nowadays, no friends to talk to, cousins' all grown up and have their own life. Only He knows how I'm feeling...My life seems to just revolve around camp, everyday a new war wages on, tons of backstabbing and the best thing is...Most of them are so-called Christians. I feel so ashamed. Then there's her, that someone that brightens my every day in camp...She's my only sanity, but does she feels the same way? Too many questions asked, too few answers to satisfy me. How? Pardon my insatiable thirst for answers...
So don’t turn off the lights
I don’t wanna be in the dark tonight
Cause I can’t read your mind
I need to know if what I’m doing is right
Don’t turn off the lights
What I’m doing now
Cause I don’t like to question
What I still haven’t found
Hmm not many answers for my last message, well nevermind...Many things had happened over the past week after the death. In short, confinments, cancellation of offs and LWEs, lessons and many more crap. The whole place is falling out of shape. But one thing was the highlight of these past weeks...I managed to get into the Air Force Grp 2 team. I'm glad about it but after seeing the standard I'm having second thoughts.
How I wish everything would turn out right, my life, my camp, my friends, that someone and my relationship with God. I wish I could go back in time and relive those few months before I entered army. Sundays helping out at CityKids church, I feel that I have a calling to teach, but I'm not a good role model for them though. How I miss meeting up with Sandra, Joel and my cousin Mich before every CityKids service. Ah...the good times. Wonder how's everybody doing now, I've lost contact with everybody except my cousin. Going to church feels so different nowadays, no friends to talk to, cousins' all grown up and have their own life. Only He knows how I'm feeling...My life seems to just revolve around camp, everyday a new war wages on, tons of backstabbing and the best thing is...Most of them are so-called Christians. I feel so ashamed. Then there's her, that someone that brightens my every day in camp...She's my only sanity, but does she feels the same way? Too many questions asked, too few answers to satisfy me. How? Pardon my insatiable thirst for answers...
So don’t turn off the lights
I don’t wanna be in the dark tonight
Cause I can’t read your mind
I need to know if what I’m doing is right
Don’t turn off the lights
